Thursday, May 23, 2013

My Animal "Friends"

I keep saying I want to live on a farm but I encountered two spiders and a small ant infestation this week and I was ready to run for the hills. Then I saw a segment on Chronicle about a farm that had about 30 baby goats and I was ready to run to Vermont.

It's been like a farm around here this week. It started off with a fox sighting early Monday morning. He came out from under the camper in the driveway and trotted along to the front yard. I followed him (while inside the house) to the front yard where he came up and sniffed all the flowers. Then he went around to the side of the yard and stood near my hydrangeas lining the screened porch. He looked right at me and I swear he nodded as if to say "hey, how are ya?"  Then he disappeared back into the woods.

Coming home Monday night, I noticed what looked like a black rope on the stone wall. We don't have any black rope...what is it?...uhm...yeah, not a rope....but rather a garter snake sunning itself on the stone wall. I almost had a heart attack.

The next day was a woodchuck sighting. Again, early in the morning, and he was hanging out in my backyard. He has lived here for a few years...first in the front yard in the woods and now apparently, he has relocated to the backyard. He's pretty fat. He waddles and it looks so cute.

I had a deer bound across the street in front of me today. Actually she walked out like she was the only one on the road. She slowly walked past me....turned and looked at me as though I had the nerve to disturb her. Then just sauntered across the street in her heels like it was early Sunday morning. Hey, trying to get to hot yoga here...move it along!

A few days ago my nephews came over to hang with Jack. After playing airsoft in the back woods, they decided to look for critters. I thought they meant frogs and salamanders. I came home from buying some plants, had my back hatch up, and came across the boys carrying a small cooler. "Want to see what we have?" I imagined one of those fuzzy little orange and black caterpillars. But no. Keep in mind...this is NEVER a good question.

The lid opened and it was like a snake charmer basket....snakes just started coming out....headed for my open car! I screamed and told the boys to get rid of them. Typical boys...they don't think....they just start shooing them away in my driveway! I made them wrangle them back and take them deep into the woods. The cooler is still sitting in my backyard. I refuse to touch it...or ever use it again. Even though they swear it's empty I'm convinced I'll find a curled up snake in there.

Then out popped the woodchuck again today. He was just waddling around the backyard. Do they eat chipmunks? That would be great if they did....he could snack on them all day in my yard.

Don't tell my family...but I have serious doubts I would last a week on a farm. Not like we are moving to one anytime soon but sometimes I like to make them think they are holding me back from my dream.

We are opening up the camper next weekend to set it up for the season. I have visions of walking into a Fox Frat House. Foxes in their boxers lying around....food remnants everywhere....a woodchuck passed out with an empty beer can in his paws....snakes hanging from the curtain rods. And I imagine they will look at me like "Lady, what's the problem? Shut the door, would ya?!" I guess I would have to change my blog name to Farm Girl on Wheels.