Tuesday, September 10, 2013

How Not to Clean the Kitchen

Listen up spouses, significant others, and children who "help out" by cleaning the kitchen after dinner. Let's be honest...when I say "help out" that usually means one of us has snapped and is sick of doing the dishes and after ranting that "no one ever helps around here", you decide to do the dishes for us. Here is what doing the dishes DOESN'T mean.... It does not mean that you should leave pots on the stove. Those also need to be washed. Just because they aren't right in front of your face, doesn't mean they should be left behind. It does not mean that you should leave giant pools of water everywhere...on counters, dripping down the sink and counters, on the floor. Believe it or not, those puddles need to be wiped up as well. It does not mean that you should leave cabinets open. Why are you even opening cabinets?? You aren't emptying the dishwasher...you are loading it. It scares me to think you may have gotten confused and put dirty dishes away in the cabinets. It does not mean that you leave the dishwasher wide open when you are "done". The dishwasher can not shut its own door. It needs help. In fact, it also needs dishwasher detergent...and for you to turn it on. Please also do not leave the dishwasher door open so that when I turn around to walk away I take my shins out. Walking in my kitchen should not be a hazard to my health. It does not mean that the counters aren't included. When I have ever cleaned the kitchen and left food and sticky things on the counters? Never. So what gave you the idea that this is a sign of a clean kitchen? It also does not mean let's leave salad dressing, glasses, and various other assorted things on the kitchen table. These things will not walk to the sink or fridge. They also need help. I'm also on to you. You think that by doing a bad job cleaning the kitchen, I won't "ask" again? Oh, believe me...I will. I will ask you to do it even more if I think you need more practice so I suggest you do a good job the first time around. I'm just sayin'....

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