I just got finished reading Tina Fey's book "Bossypants". I have seen lots of people reading it over the last year but I generally don't find books by celebritys to be very good so I tend to stay away from them. The exception to that being Denis Leary's book "Why We Suck". So inappropriate yet so funny.
I was in between books and pulled out my book list...yes, of course I have a list of books that I haven't read yet but want to based on reviews I read or recommendations from anyone that will share one with me. I don't follow 30 Rock but watch it occassionally and many times just don't find it very funny. But I have always loved Tina Fey on SNL, so I figured, "Why not?" Within 10 minutes after starting to read it, I was literally CRYING laughing. When Mimi asked me "Did you just get bad news?" I tried to read her a few parts of the book but couldn't get through them without crying so hard I couldn't talk.
There are very few books that have had this effect on me, but when I find a book like that, I have to let the world know. So, I'm telling you now...you MUST read this book! Let me just give you a few snippets that made me tinkle....
Right off the bat she talks about how she asked her mother if she could start shaving her legs...so timely since I just experienced that with Mimi. When I read the second line in that paragraph I couldn't re-read it to Mimi without crying laughing..."My dark shin fur was hard to ignore in shorts weather..." When I finally did get it out Mimi and I were dying laughing about her dark shin fur...that's exactly what it was like the day before when we tried to hack her fur off.
She then gets right into how her mother gave her a "my first period" kit by Modess and inside were pamphlets with "vaguely threatening titles like 'Growing Up and Liking It' and "How Shall I Tell My Daughter'", which Tina's mother didn't bother to read or explain to her. The "Growing Up & Liking It" pamphlet consisted of two fake friends discussing what you could and could not do when you got your period like "If I roller-skate while I'm menstruating, will I die?" and the friend responded "Of course you can roller-skate! Don't be silly! But be careful of odor, or neighborhood dogs may try to bite your vagina. Friends Forever, Ginny" OMG. Tina went to say that she quickly shoved the kit in her closet where it haunted her daily. "There may have been a guy dressed like Freddy Kruger in there for the amount of anxiety it gave me. Every time I reached in the closet to grab a Sunday school dress or my colonial-lady Halloween costume that I sometimes relaxed in after school - 'Modessss it hissed..." Wait, too many things to laugh at there....first, the image of Freddy in the closet with the period kit and then the fact that she relaxed after school in a colonial lady costume was too much to process all at once.
At one point, Tina talks about what it's like to do a photo shoot. There are so many funny parts in here! She says that the stylist will have racks and racks of clothes . "She has been given your sizes ahead of time and has chosen to ignore them. All the shoes are too big and all the pants and skirts will be a 5T". HA! It reminded me of the time I had "won" a private fitting at Ann Taylor for myself and two friends. That means I paid top dollar at a school fundraiser but walked away feeling special because the store was open to us after hours and we were served wine and cheese. They had selected outfits for us based on our measurements and I found myself having to ask my co-worker and friend, who had never seen me in my underwear (for logical reasons) to come into the dressing room and pull the dress over my head. No amount of shoulder dislocation was getting that thing off. It's such a panicked moment...when you realize...while you are alone in the dressing room...that you can't get the clothes off without either asking a stranger to come in pull it off your half naked body, or pulling your own arm out of its socket. Lucky for me I was with "friendlys" and I opted for my friend Lynne to come in and resuce me. Once again, I'd like to apologize to you, Lynne for the sight you had to see. Are you still wearing the sunglasses, or has your sight come back yet?
There is a section in the book entitled "The Mother's Prayer for Its Daughter" in which Tina shares her wishes for her daughter which are all funny but the one that made laugh out loud on the train was "And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give the me the strength , Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, for I will not have that shit. I will not have it." Now that I have entered the teen years, I feel I am one step away from this at any given day. God, give me the strength too.
And although there are so many other funny parts to her book, I will leave you with this one because I think it is one that many of us can relate to. The page is entitled "What Turning Forty Means to Me" and it is just a three line sentence on this page that reads "I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do." Who CAN'T relate to that??!! I guess you bitches that aren't 40 yet....
But seriously, if you have any sense of humor, you must read this book. And if you don't find it funny, I can't like you anymore.