Monday, June 6, 2011

Important Fashion Rules

It felt like winter was here up until 3 weeks ago. Then we had a crazy warm week...and then it was back to fallesque weather. Finally, I think we are starting to level out now and have some consistent weather. It's obvious the up and down weather has confused some people and I think it is important to review some simple fashion rules. Let's get started....

Do not wear cordorouy pants with flip flops and/or short sleeves. Cordorouys = winter. Do not wear them when the weather is over 60 degrees and do not pair them with summer items. Along the same lines, don't wear a winter sweater with capri pants. It's a seasonal mullet. And you look stupid. Cut it out.

Do not wear open toe shoes when your toes need attention. By "attention" I mean, if your nail polish is flaking or chipped, keep your toes covered until you can fix them. If the soles of your feet (and this includes your exposed heels) look like shoe leather, put some lotion on them and cover them up. In fact, put lotion on them at night and wear socks to soften them up for a month. Get a pedicure. Or get out that loofah you have but never use. And finally, if your toenails are too long, do not expose anyone to that sight. Cut them before you flaunt them. These seem like simple rules but apparently they need to be reviewed.

Put a slip under your skirt when it is light colored or just a light fabric. No one walking down the street needs to see your underworld.

And for the love of God, please check the length of the back of your skirt...especially on a windy day. If there is the possibility that your skirt may blow up with a light breeze, it's too short.

Today I saw a woman wearing a pheasant skirt with socks. Knee high wool socks. And sandals. This was the most disturbing sight to date. On so many levels. Unless you live on a commune, stop wearing hippie skirts. Knee high socks only work with catholic school outfits....or for those that work with a pole. If you aren't in private school and you aren't a stripper, don't wear that outfit. And socks and sandals? People...do we really have to review this one again?

What's the craziest outfit you have seen lately?

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