Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Old Days

First of all, my outfit is "stupit" today. Jenn wouldn't like it. It doesn't take long to slide right back into the same old, same old...

Moving on....On the last night of our trip, Beth went into our room early, got into our pj's, and attempted to read but instead started reminiscing about all the crazy times we had. By the time we were done we were giggling like school girls and I had to go tinkle. I thought I would share one of my all time favorite stories with you to cheer up your rainy day (well, it's raining here..).

We went out with two guy friends that Beth worked with. We went out pretty often with them and the best thing was we always went out just as friends. Fuzziness #1: we couldn't remember where we had been or who else was with us but we do remember that by the end of the night it was clear Beth and I couldn't go home by ourselves. We lived in opposite directions and we weren't close to either of our apartments. Dave suggested we sleep at his apartment...which he shared with a bunch of roommates. Fuzziness # 2....no idea what town his apartment was but we think it might have been Brighton. Wherever it was, we were just followed him home.

We get there and I immediately just assumed the fetal position and went night-night on the living room shag rug. In hindsight, I shudder to think what that looked like in the day light. Beth found an empty bedroom and crashed. She awoke to a very hairy man crawling into bed next to her. She wanted to get up but the room was spinning so she was forced to lay there and listen to him snore. Again, in hindsight, it's a good thing he didn't realize there was a strange girl in his bed.

Beth comes booking out of the room as the sun is coming up the next morning. "C'mon! We have to go!" Part of her urgency had to do with the fact that we had to get from a strange town back to my apartment in Wakefield to change and then all the way to downtown Boston to our jobs...and not be late. The other part is that she wanted to get out of dodge before Furry Guy saw her.

When I got up, I realized I had been sleeping on the phone cord that was strung across the floor. The cord had made a deep indent running diagonally across my face from my forehead to my chin that, in all honesty, took two days to go away. We didn't realize it until we got on the T.

We were just trying to hold our stomachs down and stop our heads from pounding as we made our way to work on planes, trains, and automobiles. We were approaching Government Center and this guy gets up...clearly wearing his suit from the night before and he heads for the door. He is pastey white, sweating, and swaying. The doors open and instead of getting off, he projectile vomited on the poor, unfortunate girl that was getting on the train, ready for work. I honestly don't know how we didn't projectile vomit ourselves. The poor girl...head to toe vomit. And Vomit Man just ran through the crowd leaving her drenched.

Fuzziness #3...we have no memories after that until about 1/2 hour into our workday. There I am...with my creased phone cord face, and Beth emails me to say that the girl sitting next to her is talking to her friend saying "Apparently, last night, Todd woke up to find some blonde girl in his bed! If I find out who that b@*$# was I am going to kick her a$$!" AAAAHHHH!!! What are the chances?! Of course nothing happened but this girl never would have believed that. I think Beth sweated that one out for about 2 months.

We barely made it to lunchtime. We needed grease and we needed it fast. We scurried along to Wendy's in Downtown Crossing...our favorite hangover spot. This particular Wendy's had tables upstairs and downstairs. Now, when you are hungover, you get the stupids and the dots take longer to connect than on an average day. This was true for us. We were in line waiting to order (me with my creased face and all...) and people are streaming up from downstairs. Instantly we thought we must have lapsed into a coma and somehow we had taken so long to walk that lunch hour was over. We looked at the clock and that wasn't the case. We shrugged and ordered our greasy burgers and salty fries and took our trays downstairs. We immediately dig into our lunch, ignoring the murmurings that are going on.....that is, until we hear some sort of whacking sound followed by a pig squeal. What the heck?! We continue to shovel the grease into our faces but we look around. There is confusion and fear on people's faces. All of a sudden, we hear "Watch out! It's coming this way!" and a Wendy's employee is chasing something with a shovel. The people at the table in front of us are screaming and we lift up our feet to see what is coming underneath us. Oh, let me tell you....it was a GIANT RAT the size of a small dog. It passed right underneath my chair. And the Wendy's employee finally cornered it and BEAT IT DEAD with a shovel right there in the dining room...while it squealed until the end.

We took our trays upstairs and I'm not going to lie to you....we did finish our meals before we left. Afterall, we were really hung over. Those were the days....

Hopefully this will make you think of a funny little story from your "old days" and make you laugh til you tinkle.

1 comment:

  1. OMG... I almost "tinkled" on way home from work reading that! That was just one of many "good times". I thought u were still in your other cute apt tho? Bring on more:)