I've decided to call 2010 "The Year of Rediscovering Little Kelly". Have you ever wondered what happened to that little kid that had big dreams with no awareness of the possibility for failure or even the fear of the obstacles that might be presented along the way? Where is the little girl that could get lost in the world of Barbies for hours without feeling guilty of spending time doing something she enjoyed doing rather than thinking about all the things she should be doing. I long for the days when I took the time to live in the moment, without even realizing what I was doing. I long for the days when success was measured by my smile at the end of the day rather than how many check boxes were crossed off my to do list.
My name is Kelly and today is a new beginning for me. I recently left a great job that I loved after 14 years with a major financial firm. Upon learning that my position was moving to Boston, I started thinking about what this would mean for me and my family. Ultimately I would leave the house at 6:30 am, before my son left for his bus and before my daughter was even awake, and wouldn't return home until 6:30 on a good day. Then when I got home, tense as a high strung poodle, I would get sucked into the world of dinner, dishes, endless homework, asking "how was your day?" while I chopped vegetables, never once looking at my kids as they answered the question. There wouldn't be time for eye contact. And with any luck, we would squeeze in some "quality time" of cuddling on the couch before bed time. Forget about having meaningful conversation with my husband at that point. We would quickly cover what was on tap for the next day before we fell into comas. That wasn't the life I wanted for me and my family. I am a big believer that everyone has a purpose here on Earth and I couldn't accept that this was going to be my fate. Don't get me wrong...I know there are many people out there who live this life and will tell you that their children are happy, well adjusted beautiful people, that they have wonderful relationships with their spouses and friends, and that they feel successful and fulfilled. But I do wonder if they look in the mirror and ask themselves "Where did that little girl go? Who have I become?"
I left my job to find myself again and my blog will take us all on the journey of finding Little Kelly.